Through Hell and Back
by Slow-d
Summary: This is the unedited version of what really went down in hell


H1.

"Anyone else wants some of this sweet ass ?" asked Alister to the crowd of onlookers.  
"Please stop, I beg you, no more, I can't take it anymore, please stop" Dean begged, as he curled himself in a fetal position trembling.  
"Look at him, the little bitch is begging us to stop, don't you love to see him beg ?" exclaimed Alister looking at Dean with a mixture of lust and disgust as he and his men walked of the room leaving Dean alone in the dark.  
Dean just stayed where he was rocking, humming to himself. He did this all to save his brother,Sammy, and at the time it seemed worth it. Now though, after the torture and the rapes, he had to wonder. He tried to be brave, to take it like a man, but finally he couldn't take it anymore. The pain was too much, it broke his heart thinking about it and the first time it happened, he remembered screaming the first time cause it was so unexpected. He expected to be tortured and tormented not violated, now nothing is unexpected and he didn't scream again, or utter a sound until tonight. Tonight he has had enough.  
"Kill me, I can't take it anymore, please kill me!, don't hurt me anymore"He begged.  
Suddenly he saw a bright light under the door through his half swollen eyes, he felt kind of relieved, he knew either way his torment would end tonight. Time passed during which he heard sounds of a battle outside the door of the room. A loud noise brought him out of his head, he looked around and saw the deepest blue eyes he's ever seen staring at him, the emotions in the strangers eyes were unreadable. He cringed, as he tried to hide himself in the corner, " please, don't touch me, please kill me, I can't take it anymore" he begged as the figure approached him.  
" Don't worry Dean, I won't hurt you, you are safe with me" the figure said. Dean wasn't quite sure that was true though, " anyone who comes into this room comes for one purpose, and that's to get their rocks of in this sweet ass" he said, trying for nonchalance but failing because his voice cracked and he was crying. " I won't hurt you Dean, I promise you , you are safe with me" the figure said while placing two fingers on Dean's forehead.  
At first Dean flinched caused he was expecting to be hit, but instead he felt better,healed and soothed. He heard someone humming while he fell asleep.

2.  
Dean woke up in a casket, he made his way out , contacted Bobby and is now summoning the person who saved him from hell. He and Bobby waited and suddenly someone walked through the barn door. The guy was wearing a cream trench coat, white shirt and blue tie. To Dean, he looked sexy in an awkward kind of way, but after all he has been through in hell he shouldn't even be looking at a man much less find him attractive. "I guess my time in hell really fucked me up". He whispered to himself as he stood next to Bobby. " Who are you ? And what do you want from me ?", asked Dean as he doused the man with holy water. The man touched Bobby on his forehead and he fell to the ground. Slight tremors ran through Dean's body, " who are you and what have you done to bobby ? " Dean asked. "I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition. Don't worry your friend is fine, I am Castiel, and you and I need to talk " replied Castiel.  
" Talk about what ?, why would you... Why would you... No, no , no, I can't, I won't", stammered Dean as he backed himself into a corner of the barn, shaking his head severely.  
Castiel walked up to him, " Relax, Dean I won't hurt you, I am an angel of the lord", he said as he placed his hand on an extremely terrified Dean, who shrugged out of the comforting gesture.  
" An angel huh ?, I guess word travels far and wide about the hunter that the demons turned into their bitch, you here to sample the goods ?" Dean asked in a nasty tone.  
" No!, Dean No, I'd never do that to you..."  
" cause I would rather die than let anybody touch me like that again, my life is over, I have nothing to lose but don't think for a minute that I won't take you down with me" interrupted Dean, in a matter of factly tone.  
" Dean, I saved you because you are worth saving, because you are a selfless, beautiful and righteous soul.  
" Righteous, beautiful ?, get the fuck away from me? You only brought me back to this plane so you can have me to yourself, so that you can make me your personal whore, well fuck you cause that ain't gonna happen". Dean exclaimed angrily.  
" You don't believe me, you don't trust me, I understand , but one day you will", replied Castiel. "Good bye for now Dean, and for what its worth I am sorry for what you had to go through down there", he said as he vanished out of sight.

3.  
Dean explained what he could to Bobby without revealing much about hell, when asked about Castiel's possible intentions he remained silent. " Brother, it's good to see you, how are you back ?", asked Sammy as he threw himself at his brother, hugging him. He felt Dean stiffen in his embrace and wondered what that was about, but he would worry about the later cause he has his brother back.  
"I don't know, at first I thought it had something to do with you but it turn out to be a so called 'angel of the lord', and before you ask, no I don't know why" replied Dean and he shrugged out of Sam's embrace.  
"I have been to hell for what felt like forty years, how long have I been gone up here ?", Dean asked.  
" Four months, if you don't mind me asking, what it is like down there ?", Sam asked. He saw Dean tensed and shuddered.  
"Don't, Sammy , don't ask me that. I don't remember anyway but even if I did what you expect that I was doing down there ?, playing blackjack with the devil's minions ?", replied Dean. "I just want to sleep and to forget that this ever happened, okay Sammy?".  
"Okay Dean" replied Sam, although he suspect that Dean wasn't being entirely truthful, but his brother was tired so he let it slide.

Dean laid in bed, he closed his eyes and dozed off. When he open his eyes he was in a dark room, he was naked, arms tied above his head, a spreader bar between his feet, and his face toward a wall ,He immediately realize that this was a memory, he tried to wake up but he couldn't. Alister walked in, "what do we have here ? If it isn't the big bad Dean Winchester, not so bad are you ?" He said as he walked behind him, whip in hand.  
Twack !, the first blow came, Dean gritted his teeth because he was prepared for this and Sammy was worth this. Soon one blow turned into a hundred and he realized that they now had an audience of demons. " look how the mighty Dean has fallen, I have something special in mind for you tonight, you can call it your welcome to hell package" suggested Alister has he pulled his belt buckle and pulled down his pants. Up until this point Dean was sure he could handle whatever was thrown his way in hell but he never expected this. He trembled when he felt Alister's hand on his body, touching him in places that no man ever did. It was then that he realized that he truly was in hell. When he felt the first thrust he knew that this is the end for him, that was his last thought as pain overtook him and he started screaming.

4.  
"Dean!, Dean wake up !" shouted Sam as he tried to shake Dean awake. Dean opened his eyes and looked at him, his eyes carried so much pain and Sam felt a stab of guilt because he was the reason why Dean went to hell in the first place. He was the reason why Dean had to endure whatever he did in hell. He looked at his brother, drenched in sweat, slightly trembling. " Are you okay Dean ? " Sam asked.  
"Yeah... It was... I was...", Dean replied in a cracked voice. He cleared his throat and made a second attempt to answer, " Yes Sam, I am fine, just a little nightmare that's all, being topside again takes a little getting used to, I am fine, promise", stated Dean , as he tried the best smile he could.  
"If you stay so Dean, I am next door if you need me , okay ?" Replied a very concerned Sam, " I am going to leave the lights on okay" Sam added.  
"What do you think I am, a baby? Just go I'll be fine" responded Dean as Sam walked out of the room. He was glad that Sam left the lights on cause the dark frightens him, but he could never tell Sam that nor could he tell him about what really happened to him down under. He could tell no one, he just need some time to bury it inside himself. He looked over to the end of the bed, he suspected that someone or something was in the room with him but his time in hell has made him paranoid. He closed his eyes and fell asleep remembering those piercing blue eyes and the soothing voice of someone singing.

Castiel looked down on the man laying in the bed, he is tossing and turning and very restless, he looked so vulnerable but Castiel knew that this man is strong because he survived the horrors he endured in hell. "Mine", he whispered to himself, " My Dean, I won't let anyone hurt you ever again". Castiel began singing, he want to put Dean's mind to rest, he saw Dean relax and let out a peaceful sigh. This was when Castiel knew he would move heaven or hell to keep this man safe..

5.  
Dean woke up feeling relaxed and well rested. He walked into the living room, in no shirt and basketball shorts. He saw Sam sitting at the desk reading. " morning Sam, what's for breakfast ?", he asked as he leaned against the wall by the desk.  
" Well Dean, who've been out for a few days you must be hungry. there is pie, eggs and bacon... Did you sleep well?" asked Sam.  
" I slept fine Sammy, why wouldn't I sleep well ?", Dean responded in a clipped tone.  
"Don't you remember the nightmare and screaming in your sleep?", countered Sam.  
"I am fine Sammy, that was... That was nothing okay, drop it okay" demanded Dean. They heard something stumbling in the other room, both men rushed to see what it was. "What the... ?" Dean started "Hello again Dean", Castiel said with a smile, " and you must be Sam, the brother who Dean went through all the horrors of hell for". Stated Castiel in a clipped matter of factly tone.  
"What horrors are you talking about ?, what is he talking about Dean ? you said you don't remember anything" stated a very confused Sam. "He remembers everything that was done to him, everything that he had to do, I wish he didn't though" responded Castiel.  
"What was done to him, what did he have to do ?" asked Sam.  
"Enough! , I am still in the room" shouted Dean as he turned pointing to the angel, "and you, you have no right to discuss my business with anyone, glad that I could put on a show for you, did you enjoy it ?" Dean asked in a bitter toned.  
" No Dean, I didn't enjoy it, it was painful to watch and I know its worst to experience, but I wanted your brother to know that your soul wasn't the only thing you gave up to save his ass. I am sorry if I offended you" replied Castiel.  
"Dean, what is he talking about? Dean I am your brother you can talk to me, I would do the same for you, you know" stated Sam.  
"I am not talking about it, and I know you would but never that, Sam. promise me, if anything should happen to me, you move on okay, please promise me", Dean begged.  
Sam never once heard his brother beg for anything, its the first time he has seen his pillar of strength so broken, after their father's death he was a bit shaken up but never like this. What has his brother been through in hell. " I promise Dean, I promise I'll move on with my life".  
"So, Cas, why did you really drag me from hell and why are you here now ? " Dean asked.  
" I know what you think of me, I know , but Dean I am not like that, and no means no for me okay", Cas stated trying to reassure Dean. Dean heard Sam gasp and saw him paled and rushed out of the room with his hands over his mouth. "Why, did you have to say that ? Now Sam probably figured out what went down. I didn't want him to know Cas! " shouted Dean. "Why are you here, why did you save me, I... Why Cas? I wanted to die or since I was already dead, to expired, to sieze to exist... I am sure you get my point." conceded Dean.  
" I just couldn't watch anymore, I was commanded to watch but I couldn't, you are so strong, you endured the torture and torment and beating apart from the first night you didn't make a sound and the last night I heard you and I just couldn't watch you break apart, so I came for you. I fell for you Dean", replied Cas as he inched closer to Dean, who backed away stumbling.  
" what are you still doing here then, I am free now what are you still doing here ?" asked Dean, who on the verge of panic. Sam came into the room and saw this and rush to his side but Dean moved away. "I am here to protect you, no one will ever hurt you again." Cas stated.  
"No one but you right Cas?" Dean asked bitterly.  
"No Dean, No one." Cas responded. Sam kept silent as he watched the interaction between the two men, he had a very strong idea of what his brother has been through and it made him sick to his stomach. " Lucifer wants you as a pet Dean, I won't let that happened, if you think Alister and his minions were bad, they are nothing compared to Lucifer ", Cas stated.  
" No, NO! NO! I CAN'T GO BACK, I WONT GO BACK, PLEASE NO! ", screamed Dean as he went into full blown panic. Sam tried to console him, but the minute Sam touched him he freaked out, " No, don't touch me, don't touch me, please stop, not again, stop", Dean begged, he was a trembling crying mess.

6.  
Sam knew that although Dean was with them physically, mentally he was back re-living whatever ordeal he endured. "Cas, please, help him, I can't stand seeing him like this", Sam pleaded. He saw Cas, disappear from where he was and reappeared behind Dean. He put his arms around Dean, he held Dean while he thrashed, and fought and screamed and cried. Sam watch Cas with Dean, it was obviously that the angel cared a great deal for his brother. When Dean calmed down a bit he helped Cas carry Dean to the bed.  
Cas sat and put Dean's head in his lap. He gently combed his hand through Dean's hair. " I am sorry Dean, I am sorry about what you had to go through", Cas said as he tried to coax Dean out of the state of catatonia he was in. "Come back to me Dean, let me see those bright green eyes of yours, I can't lose you now dear", Cas said pleadingly. " Hey Jude, don't make it bad, take a sad song and make it better remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better... ", Cas sang in his baritone voice, he felt Dean respond, so he knew he was back in his head. Cas continue to sing, while Dean slowly come back into himself.  
" Cas,Sam what happened ?" Dean asked as he sat up to face the angel and his brother.  
"Dean, you took a trip in your head a while ago, you are okay now, you are safe with us " Sam replied.  
Dean shuddered as he remembered what happened, " I can't go back, I rather die than go back" he said in a panicked voice.  
"Calm down, Dean, we would never allow them to take you back", Cas replied. "Cas ?"  
" Yes Dean ?"  
"Could you sing to me again, I find that I enjoy your singing"  
"Anything for you Dean", replied Cas.  
" Sammy?"  
"Yes Dean?"  
"I'll talk to you about whatever tomorrow okay, now get..."  
"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, are you sure you want Cas to stay?" asked Sam.

"Well, for now, I fell some what safe with him" Dean responded. Sam left, and Cas continue singing as he watched Dean drifting away in a peaceful slumber. After he was sure Dean was asleep he left. He needed to protect Dean, he if he has to scour the earth for a way to, then that's what he'll do.


End file.
